I just found who I am

I just heard a line on TV sapne woh nahin hote jo neendo me aate hain sapne woh hote hain jo neend bhaga dete hain..or those are not dreams that comes while you sleep instead dreams are those which takes your dream away..

So I thought what is my dream and I realised I have no such dream..this all nonsense of me becoming an enterpreneur is stupid..this is just running away from myself, the true me who is afraid of his inability to succeed..who things he cannot survive in corporate world so why even try..only thing which gives me kick in life is thinking and talking..giving someone else advise that I didnt follow, thing tht should be done tht I have never done.. i am fed up of expectation around me, nt frm others but my false expectations frm myself..when I know I cant do that why do I try to show tht I can do tht..
I have no goal in life just keep on doing what I am doing trying to be happy in whatever I do..yeah I am happy relaxed looking person but is I really happy..no one can be happy If he tells such lies to himself..I am not satisified with what I have done but try n say to myself its ok you dnt want much..I want more..I want tht has never been achieved..I want to be a superhuman..but yeah I dnt work for tht so basically I just think n dream..
I want to achieve a lot and let someone else do it for me..this is a bad situation to be in and I am in this..I will like to get out of it..
so what I can do( first thought in my mind comes is bring your goals to a achievable level) so my mind ditches me It cannot fight my body or is it that I cannot fight my mind.. this is all in my mind..My lethargy n everything else..or is it I am not made for all this.. I am made for living an ordinary life..
Even my dreams of becoming a CA and after tht an IIM alumni did not gave me sleepless nights.. one time I cud nt sleep is when it was for playing cricket.. i cud have played it anytime day or night or when the temprature was 45 or 5 or where players were 0 or 11..when it was night or day I didnt care so was tht my dream..
I believe in Karma but do not perform it..I need a drive in life that can make my night sleepless I dont want to sleep now.. I have slept enough.. I want to get up in life and achieve something now..
Adrenaline has allowed me to post this on web quite possible it becomes for my own consumption ..

Why I am not focussed..Why I am running from Myself.. Why when I want to enjoy life in different manner I am living it like any other person.why I am araid of failiure when I was never before..where is my energy gone..Why I am not coming back to what I used to be..why I have stopped thinking while walking when everyone else got irritated .. why I have stopped going out..drinking coffee.. even stopped trying to flirt .. why I am afraid of no again.. why I am not confident enough.. Why I am not critical enough and becoming more of a politically correct person..where is my stupidity gone
Is this the reality tht has struck my flight towards dream.. or I am finaaly maturing losing my child like energy and believes.. when I used to not think before doing something or is it I am afraid now that my type of life dont exists..
dont know and dont want to know eiether..only thing I want is to get back to tht naughty stupid energetic Prashant..Come on u can do it dude

Print media world

I am shifting back to jaipur and this shifting has cut me from internet and TV now for 22 days exact...so my only source of INFN is print media and I am getting a good dose of it including Hindu TOI and Biz line. ..sometimes it feels good to not be in thick of action and read news after it has happened as it stops taking u some unwise moves or comments but sometimes it bewcomes frustating and on top of it I too dont have my Laptop for now...ooppphhhh its boring but think its more productive..Hope to get back into life soon :)

just like that

I am ill i want to sleep but sleep is betraying me. why it betrays you when you want it most. why it comes to you when you are in class listening to prof. ohh sorry definitely not listening when ur sleeping. I never understand why I never taped lectures of profs.. so that I cn sleep at room too.. ohh mobile is not allowed..but we carry it so why not record... ohh who wants to sleep listening to them please is it not enough tht we listen to them in class.. but why some prof don't make you sleep.. think they must have slept in classes or is it that everyone slept but they remember what made them slept but they are also unable to stop students from sleeping...some students dont slleep in any class as they have to sit in first 3 benches but some slleep even though they dont want to as last bench provides conducive envioronment for sleeping..
you write this type of blog entry when you want to sleep but cant sleep but 1 of my friends said that your mind is like a tv and u hve the remote.. just change the channel..so I am putting it into sleep mode now..lets see does remote work ??

thank you all who introduce me to blog writing

Hey I would like to thank all who have introduced me to blog or anyway helped me to make my blog bettree..:)

firstly I would thank Ankur to introduce me to concept of Blogss.. by asking me to read his post ...

than i would thank Ankur to inspire me to start writing a blog

Than I would thank Ankur to give my blog the look which it have today

Than again I would thank Ankur for becoming the first person to comment on my blog.

and I would thank gunj to post first comment by a stranger :)

So its Ankur all the way
So why should not I tag Ankur for this :)